My status as a media celebrity (Isle of Man only, conditions apply) has led me into many interesting situations. But not, so far, what amounts to serious crime. Art fraud to be exact . . .
In the past I have been asked to take part in recipe books to raise money for a charity. This is easy. If you don’t have a recipe of your own you can borrow one, as a professional compliment, celebrity to celebrity, from a well-known chef.
But it was different when the Isle of Man branch of Victim Support asked me to take part in a fundraising art show by contributing a piece of artwork of my choice. I felt compelled to agree, even though I have no visual art ability whatever. I can barely draw breath.
What I sent in is one of the works now on show in the Palm Court of Tower House in Douglas. It is described as an original framed ink sketch on paper measuring 29.5cmx18.5cm and it is a ‘self portrait’ of my car. It is a side view of my red Mini One convertible speeding along with the hood down and a couple of seagulls above trying to pay tribute to me in the best way they know how.
The show itself opened a week ago and I was at the launch, where I was surprised to be told that all the pictures, including mine, were to be put up for auction on eBay to raise money for the cause. A cold hand fastened around my heart.
It wasn’t my picture at all. I had had it ‘ghosted’ for me by a professional artist.
The auction ended on Sunday and at time of writing I didn’t know if the drawing had been bought. But it seems to me that, if so, the buyer has been the victim of art fraud.
The drawing was done by my friend Peter Hearsey, an artist well-known in the Isle of Man and even more so elsewhere in the world, as official artist to the Goodwood Festival of Speed and especially in America where he is seen as one of the world’s leading automotive artists.
He does paintings of the fine, highly valuable cars owned by wealthy patrons along with many other iconic vehicles.
But Pete has not been given credit for ‘my’ drawing on eBay, and not even in the Palm Court of Tower House in Douglas.
That’s my case, Your Honour. I didn’t really mean to do it. But if I have to go down do you think I could get help from Victim Support? It was all their fault really.
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Back to my statement that in the film ‘Trapeze’ Burt Lancaster got Gina Lollobrigida in the end instead of Tony Curtis.
My Manx Radio broadcasting colleague Ian Cottier asks: ‘Why should any apparently normal male wish to get Tony Curtis (Rock Hudson perhaps) rather than the formidably endowed Gina and which end did he get her in anyway? What were the options open to him, as you might say?’
All right, all right. I admit it. We all do it.
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Two Manx crossword clues. Richard Hetherington sends in, from the Daily Telegraph cryptic: Personal assistant to Isle’s new tavern (3-7) – man-servant. Clive Alford offers, from the Radio Times: Distant sea as well as an island (7) – Andaman.
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The last wacky website. Design firm Speed of Art has www.speedofart.com.