Controversial ‘retirements’ and northern magic...it must be time for the Manx Hockey Blog
ONLY THE LONELY
During our blog last week, we asked you to share the love and are delighted to offer the below loved-up tales which will warm even the most hardened of hearts. Before we ‘get cosy’, however, we would like to spare a thought for those moments where everyone seems a long way away, epitomised by the above picture taken midway through a particularly fast-paced Thursday night game.
Thursday nights should be about nights in with a nice Horlicks and watching the lovely David Dimbleby chatting politics on Question Time (NB: Please substitute ‘Horlicks’ for ‘White Lightning’, David Dimbleby for ‘Gok Wan’, ‘politics’ for ‘nonsense’ and ‘Question Time’ for ‘Celebrity Juice’ where appropriate).
Judging by the above snap, it appears must of the participants had decided that this was the best course of action. Altogether now...Aaallll byyy myse-e-elf...
SOMETIMES IT’S ALL IN THE SMALL PRINT
Our regular readers will recall that we completely forgot to make any mention last week of Tom Wilson’s retirement from the sport. However, those who have befriended Tom on Facebook, and indeed those who just stalk him, may be aware that some 10 days ago, Wilson announced via the medium of Facebook that he would no longer be playing hockey in the island and would no longer proudly sport the white Bacchas shirt on a Saturday. For some time, the sport mourned.
The Cronkbourne flag flew at half mast (or at least would have done if Cronkbourne flew a flag). Rumours of Jonny Callow releasing white doves from Cronkbourne in order to mark the passing of Tom’s hockey career circulated. It was understood there were several minutes’ silence at the club that evening, although some have argued that this may have just been shock caused by the appearance of former player Tim Glover’s wallet at the bar. Hockey was the loser.
However, it would appear from viewing the teamsheets of last weekend that Mr Wilson forgot to stipulate the small print of his retirement from hockey. It turns out that what Tom had meant to say was: ‘I retire from hockey and Bacchas, except on Saturdays, maybe on Thursday nights for training and at other times if there’s hockey on.’ Hopefully that clears it up.
Happy days have returned to Bacchas, except for Jonny Callow who was last seen wondering the hills about Injebreck muttering something about it all being ‘a waste of perfectly good doves.’
MAGIC UP NORTH
The humble hockey stick. It can range from anything from an extension of the arm, a helpful prop when the going gets tough or even (heaven forbid) an offensive weapon. In the hands of Kirstie Powell up in Ramsey on Saturday though, a magic wand was what sprang to mind! Playing against Vikings at Hogwarts, sorry, Ramsey Grammar School, Kirstie, during one Saracens attack, decided to play the ball back to the right half to recycle and switch the angle of attack. With no pressure on either player, most mere mortals would have played this ball straight back to the stick. However, they are proud to do things a little differently at Saracens...
Kirstie proceeded to pass the ball back on a 45 degree angle but, reminiscent of Rory McIlroy at the Open, decided to impart a little spin on the ball. The ball made it all the way to the sideline, where Kirst had decided the spin should take effect and rolled for fully half the pitch straight along the touchline...with both teams standing, watching and waiting for it to go over the line for two minutes before realising it was all intended and Kirstie simply sees the game on a different level.
As coach of the next generation of southern players, it has been suggested that for 15 minutes at the end of each training session this pass is practised until the correct spin is put onto it - dedication indeed and something to be wary of for any young players playing Kirstie’s charges. (NB: We are already aware that Phoenix’s press office are hastily putting together a release claiming that Mr Kneale taught this skill to the Bacchas juniors first...).
MORE MAGIC UP NORTH!
While we’re at it, not content with Saracens giving the spectators the full repertoire of what the magic wand could do, Keith Watterson had also got a vanishing trick up his sleeve. He regaled all (or anyone) who would listen with his opinions on the upcoming Saracens Men’s v Valkyrs match and how he was going to thwart their attacks with great positioning. Unfortunately, the position Keith adopted was slightly ineffective to stop Valkyrs encroaching his dee. being just 15 miles too northerly. Same time, different place. Even Kirstie ‘Potter’ Powell would have struggled to get there in time.
LOVE IS A HOCKEYFIELD
During a rather fresh Saturday last week at Castle Rushen, Castletown Ladies A found themselves one goal to the good against Bacchas A, but still searching for a second to secure their lead. Finding themselves awarded a short corner, up steps Zoe Shimmin to take on the responsibility of adding said second goal and looked to flick the ball into the bottom corner of the goal.
Doubtless, at the back of Zoë’s mind was the thought that if she was to score this goal, she would become the proud winner of a pint from Pasty and Thad, having been the only player with the modesty to name herself as likely to score 10 goals this season on the Facebook page.
Sadly, it initially looked like Zoë would be unsuccessful. Her aim was slightly off and she flicked the ball wide. Seeing what was happening, and full of the love that had been spread throughout the Valentine’s week, Helen Thomas decided that, rather than watching the ball travel past the outside of the post, she would kindly deflect the ball back onto target and save Zoë’s blushes by giving her the second goal she desired!
‘I AM AT THE PEAK OF MY PHYSICAL FITNESS’
Continuing on the love theme, last weekend there was a certain lothario who appeared to have fallen madly and deeply in love. According to team-mates, Ash Osborne was certainly feeling in a romantic mood. The object of his much desired affections? None other that...erm...Ash Osborne! We’ll let Michael ‘Giggsy’ Moore explain...
‘From my count, the phrase ‘I am at my peak of physical fitness’ was used no less than 10 times last Friday night by Ash following 10 pints of cider. Examples of his physical peakness do seem to be offered on the Outback dancefloor each Friday evening for those looking for proof.’
PREDICTIONS
If there’s one universal truth running the weekly predictions it is that Vikings Ladies not only seem to win everything on the hockey pitch but they are also very good at predicting results! Kt scored a very impressive 14 points from the 16 games, which puts her in third place for the season and, together with Kim and Sarah B, becomes the third Vikings female in the top five (along with Vikings Vole...whose gender we are unsure of!) Pasty was just behind with 13 points for the week and Thad scored 11.
This week, we have one of the island’s best hockey players. Fresh from scoring four goals at the weekend and topping the Men’s Premier League and part of this blog’s water-based team, which has been described as the pinnacle of his hockey career [citation required], Steven ‘H2’ Lowe. No pressure Steve - no Valkyrs in the top half and no men in the top five...all signs point to nothing to lose!
Viva La Resistance!
Pasty and Thad
*Thanks Jen, we appreciated the effort and I’m sure the pancakes looked great before you posted them.
STEVE’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Bacchas B 2 v 2 Castletown
Bacchas A 6 v 1 Ramsey
Valkyrs A 5 v 1 Vikings A
Saracens 3 v 3 Harlequins
Castletown B 0 v 4 Valkyrs B
Bacchas Colts 1 v 4 Vikings B
Bacchas C 2 v 2 Vikings C
Ramsey B 2 v 2 Valkyrs C
Women’s
Valkyrs A 8 v 0 Bacchas B
Castletown A 5 v 0 Valkyrs B
Ramsey A 1 v 4 Vikings A
Ramsey B 2 v 2 Harlequins
Saracens 2 v 2 Vikings C
Castletown C 1 v 3 Castletown B
Valkyrs C 3 v 2 Bacchas C
PASTY’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Bacchas B 2 v 3 Castletown
Bacchas A 4 v 1 Ramsey
Valkyrs A 4 v 0 Vikings A
Saracens 1 v 3 Harlequins
Castletown B 1 v 5 Valkyrs B
Bacchas Colts 1 v 3 Vikings B
Bacchas C 4 v 0 Vikings C
Ramsey B 1 v 1 Valkyrs C
Women’s
Valkyrs A 4 v 1 Bacchas B
Castletown A 7 v 0 Valkyrs B
Ramsey A 0 v 6 Vikings A
Ramsey B 0 v 4 Harlequins
Saracens 2 v 3 Vikings C
Castletown C 0 v 5 Castletown B
Valkyrs C 2 v 1 Bacchas C
THAD’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Bacchas B 1 v 4 Castletown
Bacchas A 6 v 0 Ramsey
Valkyrs A 4 v 2 Vikings A
Saracens 3 v 1 Harlequins
Castletown B 0 v 3 Valkyrs B
Bacchas Colts 2 v 3 Vikings B
Bacchas C 2 v 2 Vikings C
Ramsey B 2 v 1 Valkyrs C
Women’s
Valkyrs A 4 v 2 Bacchas B
Castletown A 6 v 0 Valkyrs B
Ramsey A 1 v 8 Vikings A
Ramsey B 1 v 2 Harlequins
Saracens 4 v 0 Vikings C
Castletown C 1 v 4 Castletown B
Valkyrs C 1 v 2 Bacchas C