WHO needs Jose Mourinho when you’ve got Christian ‘Jose’ Forbes?
An Apology
In last week’s edition of January 26, we carried an article which suggested that Andy ‘Phoenix’ Kneale may have been responsible for some, all, or an intermediate amount of the training of Bacchas Under-13s.
We have since been contacted by a representative of the club who has informed us that, while Mr Kneale expressed a desire to assist in training Bacchas’ next generation, the club had taken steps to ensure that his impact was minimised by repeatedly giving him an incorrect venue, time and date for the training of said youth, although Mr Kneale had become aware of the correct time and date and had, of recent weeks, assisted.
Following suggestions within last week’s blog that Mr Kneale had trained the team to an extent that they had an enormously close game and lost only 4-3 against the league leaders, Jon Whiting of Bacchas expressed that Mr Kneale was responsible for only defensive training and bears no responsibility for any goals at the other end. We are only too happy to put the matter straight and would like to apologise for any concern or distress caused.
Who needs Mourinho?
While we are on the subject of influential characters for the next generation of Manx hockey superstars, we are obliged to cover the next promising managerial talent coming through Vikings HQ, Christian ‘Jose’ Forbes. See him in all managerial glory as per the picture above, masterminding Vikings B’s victory over Harlequins at the weekend on Vikings preferred side of the white lines for him.
Of course, we cannot categorise Mr Forbes as having purely a managerial capacity in the team, as many have seen him tearing about a hockey pitch spearheading the team in the direction of success. (To avoid the inevitable apology next week, we should clarify that we may have used a touch of artistic licence there). A couple of people told us they had once seen him loitering near the back somewhere pointing the team in the direction of the pub.
Still, any captain who merges the 80s foppish cappy look with the carefree ‘hands on the hips’ style ticks every box with us. See how he influences the young Vikings generation either side with his ‘I’m in control of this situation’ pose? In the future, Alex Cain seems destined to step out of his mentor’s shadow and adopt his casual managerial style - sorry Alex that was a bit out of order, there’s still time...
Mark Bratt is a very polite chap
It’s true, as good friends of the Castletown’s ‘ginger wall’ we can confirm that Mr Bratt is indeed, one of the politest chaps we know. Always ready with a charming word or a friendly wave, Mark is rarely seen having a cross word (and in Castletown’s back-line that is no easy feat). However this week, the nice guy of Manx hockey even outdid himself for politeness...
During the second half of Bacchas’ victory over Castletown A at the weekend, Karl Moore (Graham Crowe’s new best friend and ale supplier) hit such a venomous shot from the top of the D that Mark had no choice but to flick over the NSC fence for a long corner. Now usually Mr Bratt would take these balls down and break into an attack, but as Karl had struck it so well Mark felt the easiest thing would be to edge it over the fence.
This is where his exceeding manners came into play. Knowing he had to clear the fence for a breather for his under pressure team-mates, Mark glanced backwards to see a carpark full of both Bacchas and Castletown cars. A lesser or more brutish man would not have worried where the ball landed, but not our hero. With split-second timing, he realised the only fair thing to do would be to hit his own car to save the insurance on the opposition vehicles...which he did with incredible accuracy.
Mr Bratt, on behalf of Bacchas, Castletown and anyone else who happened to be parked in the NSC car park on Saturday, we doff our caps to your exceeding politeness and your dented Punto...
All mixed up Congratulations to Jon Whiting, not only for his second blog mention of the week (and there’s more to come), but also for winning the anagrams competition last week. Accordingly, we have awarded Jon with the opportunity to do this week’s predictions (below). With the style, if not the looks, of Sandra Bullock, Mr Whiting made a tearful and passionate acceptance speech during which he noted his success was down to being laid up because of a recent operation. We were somewhat astonished at the speed with which he responded last week. Close second, or as we like to refer to it ‘first loser’, was Paul Harris.
Jon also wins a bottle of Crabbies from Thad and, in an addition to the blog after the last edit Pasty saw last week, a foot-rub from the latter. Following the occasion last year when Pasty was sold in a Valkyrs fundraiser to Russ and Emma Miller for 24 hours hard labour, this now means Pasty’s list of ‘People I must continue to avoid forever’ has been extended to three.
Special merit to Hayley Crowe as well, who submitted her entry several days after we’d lost interest, but offered that if she had won she wished to donate her foot-rub and pint to David Quayle on the condition that both were provided after David had reached his final destination in the forthcoming Parish Walk. Thanks, Hayley. Whether Mr Whiting will extend the same courtesy to Mr Quayle in donating his foot-rub to his ailing Parish Walk feet remains to be seen.
Dingbats
As a special treat, we will be running a twice weekly ‘dingbats’ competition on our Facebook page where will publish the name of a well-known Manx hockey player using only pictures but no words (kind of a cryptic pictionary). It’s easier to do than explain! We’ll publish a dingbat on a Sunday night and a Tuesday night, if you are interested then the first one will go online on Sunday, good luck!
Predictions
There are a number of ways we could describe Zara’s performance in last week’s predictions but we feel that ‘hopeless’ sums it up rather nicely. Another unpredictable week up and down the leagues led to Zara gaining a paltry six points from the 17 games, with Thad and Pasty not faring much better on nine each for the week. Zara’s only consolation was that she did manage to perform slightly better than Bacchas Bear - I guess that’s what happens when we allow uncouth, grizzly, lumbering creatures in Bacchas’ shirts to do the predictions, we’ll definitely be sure not to make that mistake again!
So, onto this week’s predictions and as mentioned above we have Jon Whiting chancing his arm this week. Good luck Jon, we hope it’s as successful as your anagram solving, if it all goes wrong we’re sure you can grin and bear it...
Viva La Resistance!
Pasty and Thad
* Jen - we know it’s topical, but ‘The Secret Diary of Jennifer Dougal, aged 37 and 3/4’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it
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JON’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Ramsey Men’s A 2 v 2 Castletown Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s A 1 v 1 Bacchas Men’s A
Vikings Men’s A 4 v 2 Bacchas Men’s B
Castletown Men’s B 2 v 1 Bacchas Men’s Colts
Vikings Men’s B 3 v 4 Saracens Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s B 3 v 1 Harlequins (IoM) Men’s A
Vikings Men’s C 2 v 4 Valkyrs Men’s C
Bacchas Men’s C 6 v 1 Castletown Men’s C
Women’s
Vikings Women’s B 2 v 2 Bacchas Women’s B
Valkyrs Women’s A 3 v 1 Castletown Women’s A
Vikings Women’s A 4 v 1 Bacchas Women’s A
Ramsey Women’s B 2 v 5 Harlequins (IoM) Women’s
Castletown Women’s B 5 v 0 Saracens Women’s
Bacchas Women’s C 3 v 1 Valkyrs Women’s C
Vikings Women’s C 2 v 5 Castletown Women’s C
U16s
Valkyrs Mixed U16 0 v 6 Vikings Mixed U16
Bacchas Mixed U16 3 v 1 Ramsey Rogues and Rascals
PASTY’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Ramsey Men’s A 2 v 3 Castletown Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s A 2 v 2 Bacchas Men’s A
Vikings Men’s A 4 v 2 Bacchas Men’s B
Castletown Men’s B 1 v 3 Bacchas Men’s Colts
Vikings Men’s B 2 v 2 Saracens Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s B 2 v 1 Harlequins (IoM) Men’s A
Vikings Men’s C 1 v 1 Valkyrs Men’s C
Bacchas Men’s C 0 v 0 Castletown Men’s C
Women’s
Vikings Women’s B 1 v 3 Bacchas Women’s B
Valkyrs Women’s A 1 v 2 Castletown Women’s A
Vikings Women’s A 4 v 1 Bacchas Women’s A
Ramsey Women’s B 0 v 5 Harlequins (IoM) Women’s
Castletown Women’s B 5 v 0 Saracens Women’s
Bacchas Women’s C 1 v 2 Valkyrs Women’s C
Vikings Women’s C 0 v 1 Castletown Women’s C
U16s
Valkyrs Mixed U16 0 v 2 Vikings Mixed U16
Bacchas Mixed U16 4 v 2 Ramsey Rogues and Rascals
THAD’S PREDICTIONS
Men’s
Ramsey Men’s A 1 v 3 Castletown Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s A 2 v 3 Bacchas Men’s A
Vikings Men’s A 4 v 0 Bacchas Men’s B
Castletown Men’s B 2 v 2 Bacchas Men’s Colts
Vikings Men’s B 2 v 3 Saracens Men’s A
Valkyrs Men’s B 3 v 1 Harlequins (IoM) Men’s A
Vikings Men’s C 1 v 2 Valkyrs Men’s C
Bacchas Men’s C 5 v 0 Castletown Men’s C
Women’s
Vikings Women’s B 2 v 0 Bacchas Women’s B
Valkyrs Women’s A 2 v 3 Castletown Women’s A
Vikings Women’s A 5 v 1 Bacchas Women’s A
Ramsey Women’s B 3 v 1 Harlequins (IoM) Women’s
Castletown Women’s B 4 v 0 Saracens Women’s
Bacchas Women’s C 0 v 2 Valkyrs Women’s C
Vikings Women’s C 1 v 2 Castletown Women’s C
U16s
Valkyrs Mixed U16 2 v 5 Vikings Mixed U16
Bacchas Mixed U16 3 v 1 Ramsey Rogues and Rascals