There is a company called Autocrash which doesn’t need to advertise its function as a workshop for repairing damage to the bodywork of your car when it’s needed.
The name has a resonance as memorable as the sound of the collision which, of course, wasn’t your fault.
Mind you it wasn’t a crash that made me go to them with my veteran Mini One convertible.
It was the accumulation of battle scars sustained in the course of 10 years everyday motoring in the Isle of Man.
They were mostly unsolicited gifts when parked from the drivers of other cars and, no, I am not going to allege that most of them were donated by women drivers. I just don’t know. No messages of any kind were left with any of them.
(I will admit that I might have caused some of them myself. But that is not a matter up for discussion today).
The trouble is that now I have a car in pristine condition and I wait apprehensively for the first donation of a new scratch, and I mentioned this to Sharon, the lady in reception at Autocrash.
She told me: ‘Three new scratches this year and you get a free invitation to our Christmas party.’
That’s smashing, Sharon.
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This week’s crossword clue has been sent in by Sara Goodwins and Barbara Taylor. It was in the Daily Telegrph cryptic as follows: ‘Man, for example, saying I will (4).’
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The strangulated jargon of politicians, Manx and otherwise, regularly includes saying that something or other will be done ‘going forward.’
A leading crab, Manx of course, said last night that this is crustaceanism. He added:
‘Why don’t they do it like us?’
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The Daily Mail last week had a photograph of Sir Cliff Richard looking what it called ‘frail and weary’ and adding that he faces ‘historic sex abuse’.
Historic? You couldn’t say that about his singing.
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Walkers and Talkers were advised in advance that there would be no sessions this week because the TT races. All I can suggest is that we do it on the TT Course.
But how will we be able to make ourselves heard?
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A group of women described as feminists say God is a woman and should be referred to as such in church services as in ‘Our Mother who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.’
This kind of thing can get out of hand, so what next?
Our Cross Gender Person who art in heaven?
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A headline in last week’s Manx Independent said: ‘Woman’s fine for speeding.’
Is she now?
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Funnies File. The sport news on Manx Radio included a preview of a women’s hockey match which said: ‘There will be few favours given by the Harlequins on the pitch.’
In the clubhouse bar afterwards perhaps?
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I have been sent a list of announcements made by London Underground drivers to their passengers starting with: ‘Ladies and gentlemen. I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound line and go in the opposite direction.’
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Crossword: ISLE. (Even I got it).