Sarah Lakeman, the remarkably strong mother of Jacques and Torin, whose tragic deaths last December shocked the south of the island, has spoken of how the community has helped her and her husband Ray cope with this ‘very dark period’ in their lives.
She also paid tribute to their ‘very special boys’.
The Lakeman brothers were found in a room above a pub in Bolton, where they had met to watch a Manchester United game at nearby Old Trafford.
Jacques, 20, had travelled from London, where he was studying to be a chef. Torin, 19, was studying physics and planetary studies at Aberystwyth University.
The boys died from an overdose of MDMA, a drug known as ecstasy. The ease with which the drugs were bought over the internet – with dangerous implications for all young people – prompted the coroner to write to the UK Home Secretary about buying illicit substances online.
Sarah said: ‘I have coped by doing things very slowly – reading a lot, walking a lot, listening to music. I have decided to live for them rather than with them.
‘They would not have wanted me to have a miserable life. I’m going back to work [as a French teacher at Castle Rushen High School] and live as they would have wanted me to live. I’m doing my Spanish A-level. I got an A at AS level and they were very proud of me – I am going to finish it off.’
She added: ‘Ray has coped by throwing himself into the Jactor Project [where small figurines are placed, in tribute to the boys, at special places globally], it’s all over the world, it’s brilliant, It has helped other people as well.
‘You have a choice: you give up or get on with it. I have an inner strength – you think: “You can fight this one, and I will”.
‘Going through something like this brings out people’s extraordinary humanity.’
She also hopes that their boys’ tragic experience will serve as a critical warning about the dangers of internet-bought drugs with the potential of saving other young people’s lives.
Sarah and Ray wrote: ‘We would like to start by thanking everyone who has supported us through a very dark period in our lives. We would not have been able to cope without this huge support.
‘We attribute this to the warmth and love people in the community had for Jacques and Torin. Anybody who knew them will remember their personalities, their sociability and their willingness to involve themselves fully in opportunities offered by the community, be it playing for Colby football club, participating in school sporting events both at Rushen Primary and Castle Rushen High, and chess and public speaking, participating in drama events both in school and in the village.
‘Wire in the Wool [an outdoor play about internment during the Second World War] was a memorable event that they supported in Port Erin. They were both active and successful participants in the Guild. And, of course, both loved their music and were members of a local band.
‘Many people will remember them as their paper boy, a job they both held down for years largely because they enjoyed chatting to customers on their round. People still stop us on the street and say how much they miss them.
‘They were very special boys, who shall be remembered for all the positive things they did. They were young, they had faults like many teenagers, they made mistakes, but they left their mark and should never be forgotten.
‘The success of the Jactor Project, where plastic figures are continuing to be left all over the world, reaffirms this. The sun will never set on a Jactoribute.’